Penelope Clearwater

Private to Liam:
I have an amusing story to share with you.

Private to Friends and Order Members:
My mother is doing significantly better. The doctors are planning to release her either tomorrow afternoon or the following day, pending a few additional test results. This is definitely good news and everyone is relieved.

Thank you all for being so supportive.

Private to Sirius:
Thank you especially for letting me go. I can be back at your place by Friday. I just have to break the news to my parents first.

Recently, I have come to the realisation that all of my friends are of the opposite sex. It's interesting and yet I have never made that observation before. Clearly something is lacking. Either I don't relate to other girls my age or I just don't get out enough to do so.

Private to Self:
Because, at the moment, I could really use the advice of another girl. Especially since I can't have this particular conversation with mum while she's laid up and healing.

Private to Friends and those whom she trusts:
I am sorry for not writing sooner. My mother was so gravely ill that she was admitted to the Hospital and placed in the Intensive Care unit. She has since been moved from there and the doctors believe she will get better, but it has been so stressful on my dad and I.

Happy Christmas to you all and expect your presents soon.

Life is far too short. Even a hundred years doesn't seem that long in comparison to how many years we have been here. And half of that is even less. Each moment, each second, and each and every breath should be cherished.

Private to Sirius:
I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important or urgent, but is there anyone who could possibly cover your shop for several days?

Do some parents intentionally forget to teach their children manners? I'm merely curious because what other excuse would a man have to be so diabolically rude and distasteful in front of a woman at least ten years his junior? Making lewd and unnecessary comments, staring in a manner that is both unnerving and decidedly rude...it's pathetic and downright disgusting!

If there hadn't been anymore else in the shop at the time-- I had a wand, I would have hexed his nether regions off in a heartbeat.

Private to Bill Weasley - Sirius may read and respond:
Thank you for helping them. Really. Words can't tell you how relieved I am to know that they're in friendlier hands. Isabelle has a dog, Vivi, and I am currently watching her, but she has asked if she can come and collect her. I understand that this might be potentially uneasy, so if you would prefer, I could bring her by for Isabelle?

[Written yesterday evening after this.]

Private to the Order of the Phoenix:
I'm writing again because I just found out that the two people who I was talking about in my last journal are being sold tomorrow. It's Liam and Isabelle Chambers. Please - please tell me that someone can get them. They've been through so much already with Mulciber - they need and deserve someone who won't treat them inhumanly.

Private to Sirius:
I would even let you trade me back in to keep them safe. After what Mulciber has done -- they can't go back to someone like him.

Private to the Order of the Phoenix:
I know I'm relatively new to the Order, but two friends of mine need our help. Isabelle and Liam Chambers are servants of Stephen Mulciber and he's planning on putting them back up for auction and selling them. Not only is it awful that he's doing this, but they've never been separated. It would kil -- Liam said They can't go to someone like Mulciber again. He - Please. Can we help them?

Private to Liam:
Your sister told me.

Mirroring and repeating what everyone else has already said, it really is very quiet at the moment. Even the number of customers at Mr. Black's shop have been quieter and less in numbers this past week. It is also very quiet in his home now that he has gone to Hogwarts to teach. Lucky b At least I have my books and this journal. The two keep me well enough entertained throughout the day.

Private to Liam:
As you know quite well, I am a patient girl, but waiting on you to tell me when to jump is even stretching my limits. Has Mulciber taken back the bit of freedom he gave you and your sister or does seeing me after all these years scare you?

( Private to Liam )

( Private to Sirius )

( Private to Draco )

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.
-Eliel Saarinen

Private to Herself
I really am happy that Sirius is taking on the Defense Against the Dark Arts post. Goodness knows that that position needs someone who has an inkling as to what they are doing and someone who can adequately teach those at Hogwarts, but what about me? Even though he doesn't act like it or enforce it, he's technically supposed to be in charge of watching over me. At least that's what the contract implies, anyway.

Does he intend to leave me at Grimmauld Place by myself the whole school year while he teaches? Someone does have to work in his shop, I suppose. Though who would be here?

I don't like the idea of being alone. Then again, I should get used to that idea too. Sirius and Draco will be at Hogwarts and my parents are on the outside, and there's really no one else beyond that.

Tomorrow.

Private to Sirius and Regulus:
Can either of you help me see my parents tomorrow? I received another letter from them (I'm sorry, I know it's dangerous, but they're careful and so am I.) and they're begging me even drop in for an hour or two.

Please?


Private to Liam:
Hey. Have you and your sister picked a school yet? Have you heard any- I might be seeing my parents tomorrow and I'm so nervous. What if they don't recognise me? It's been since the end of fifth year since they've seen me, after all. What if they're disappointed in what I'd done and the decisions I've made in regards to them? What if this meeting is just a way for them to tell me to not show my face again because they've disowned me?

Maybe I'm not making the right decision after all...

( Private to Liam Chambers )

I wonder what could have driven the person responsible for killing him to it.

Private to Sirius Black:
I need to ask your advice on something, but I'm not quite sure how to go about it. So, perhaps just going straight into the middle of it would be better.

See, I have this friend - his name is Liam Chambers, and he and his sister are servants to that absolutely awful Stephen Mulciber. He and his sister are apparently going to be sent away to some school soon by Mulciber. Anyway, he, like you and I, hate things the way they are now and wants change too. I want to tell him about the Order and give him a bit of hope (because he seems to be losing it), but given his position and who he is with, should I?

It's always interesting to look back and see where you've been. I especially like seeing all the turns and forks in the road that have gotten me to where I am today. Some of the decisions were good ones, while others were made without thought and reckless. A few I regret, but the rest I can live with. Nothing would be done differently as it's irrational to live in the past, but it's such an interesting experience to flip through this journal and even see how much things have changed in nearly a year.

Private to Self, though Sirius and Regulus can read:
I sent an owl to my parents several months ago and finally received a letter in response today. Words cannot express how happy it made me to see my mother's handwriting. She and my dad forgive me for intentionally distancing myself and breaking relations with them so long ago. They hate what's happened here in the wizarding world and are appalled about what all I've had to go through since fifth year, but the important thing is that they've forgiven me.

They want to see me, but I'm scared.


Private to Izzy and Liam:
What happened? Are you both okay - will he be sending you away, Liam?

Private to Percy:
Are you planning on being at the meeting?

Birthdays and holidays have a horrible tendency to make us remember those missing in our lives. Today, for example, is Mothering Day and because of a few simple laws, I'm not allowed to spend the day doing what I would usually do with my mother. It's a rather depressing and sobering thought.

However, there is a silver lining. When things change One day, I will make up for all the birthdays and holidays my family and I have missed together. Instead of one Christmas, we will have half a dozen; instead of one cake, there will be several dozen and even more presents; and finally, on mothering day, the breakfast will be larger than ever and the film chosen to watch will be our favourite of all time.

Not too terribly long ago, someone asked how we determine if change is good or bad? I still hold true to my original beliefs. Our feelings of change is subjective; where one person sees good, another sees the negative only. For everyone to be pleased in one sitting would be a miracle.

For the first time in several years awhile quite a long time, I am actually glad that I no longer attend Hogwarts. From everything I have heard - from these journals, the snippets of the Daily Prophet I'm allowed to see, and the sporadic conversations I hear in Mr. Black's shop - the school sounds like it has drastically changed since my fifth year. All the new teachers and rules; It's hard to even picture Hogwarts the way it's been described lately.

So maybe it was a good thing that I wasn't permitted to continue with my schooling. It's sad, though; how can Hogwarts even exist without Professor Dumbledore? It's unfathomable because he is that school. It's hard to believe that Professor Trelawney was dismissed and that everything is completely different. Now h -

At least there is one consolation. My memories of the school are still intact. If I could produce had a wand and could produce a patronus, I know I could summon up a dozen happy memories from my five years there.

I guess contentment really is the only consolation.

Since Hogwarts is out on their Easter holidays, Mr. Black's shop has been a lot busier. It's been really great, actually; several people who I attended school with have stopped in merely to say hello and to look curiously look around. At least they haven't forgotten me yet and did their best to fill me in on everything that has been going on at school since I was taken out a few years ago.

What's even better is that I might have a chance to fly for the first time in a few years sometime before the end of their Holidays. My fingers and toes are crossed in the hopes that I don't embarrass myself.

A little birdie told me that the Hogwarts Express arrived back in London today for Easter hols. I miss bein- I remember when I had the opportunity to ride the train and always made sure I took advantage of each one too. Going home for a short break from classes and homework and seeing my parents was really great. They would always be at the end of the platform waiting for me, even if all the magic around them made them nervous.

I miss them. Pity they were only allowed to experience and enjoy that for five years.